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Writer's pictureS. Laurin

Wine Shopping For Dummies

I'm sure we've all been there at some point in our lives - shopping for wine and not a clue what we're looking at, or for. We search Google - "What kind of wine pairs well with..." "What is a hard aged cheese?" "Should you match the notes of a wine with food?" "How much should I spend on wine for ______ occasion" "What does 'tannin' mean?" "Wine basics" "Wine for beginners" "Wine for dummies"...


If you're anything like me, this process has tested your metal time and time again. Your interweb searches yield endless images, infographics, and articles, each with more information than the last. And yet, somehow, not a single word of it actually helps when you are facing an isle full of wine labels.


At the end of it all, you give up. You pick the one with the coolest looking label and hope your friends don't think you're a tasteless fraud with no standards.


And then, there are the shops that put just a little more into the process - they offer an array of wines displayed with the same love and care of a small town book shop. Many bottles are displayed with carefully handwritten labels describing the various characteristics of the wine - "bold with notes of blackberry and pear" "dry with hints of pineapple" "heavy on the glass." Their sales associates float around recommending their favorite bottle of whatever section you've wandered into. As you awkwardly lean over and squint to read one of the 57 labels lining the isle in front of you, one of them stops you and says "this one is my favorite, and it has a beautiful label" and you think, "a beautiful label? How do they know I'm that lost?? Do I look like that much of a noob???" You realize just how very lost and alone you are, wandering around this god forsaken labyrinth of wines. Your winenxiety overcomes you, and - slowly - you begin to emotionally implode, questioning all of your life choices leading up to this moment of utter and complete inadequacy.


Well, friends, fellow aspiring wine enthusiasts - all is not lost.


I recently discovered an app called Vivino. No, I am not being paid to promote this app. It just genuinely helped me out of a hold of winexiety, and I can't help but share this good news.


The first feature I used was the scanner feature - the center button of the app let's you snap a photo of the wine label (the one that looks like a camera - calling this out in case you are reading this article int he midst of a winexiety attack. We've all been there, friend!). Then, it tells you everything you would ever have thought to ask about the wine. Like, answers to all the questions you would ask if you knew diddly about wine - it's worldwide and regional ranking, the flavor profile, popularity among users, reviews by sommeliers, and more. And then, just to build your confidence back up (are they in our heads, or what??), the app gives you gold stars for exploring different kinds of wine. Try scanning a fancy looking Champagne, and get an "old world wine" star.


And just like that, the wine world becomes your oyster - suddenly, your local Binny's transforms before you into a new world of opportunity.


Then, when you finally build up the courage to add a few of your newly discovered treasures to your cart, you can add these wines to your "cellar" - that's right, you have a cellar now. Once added to your cellar, you can add ratings and notes. The app then compiles these ratings into your customized "flavor profile" and you can evaluate new wines according to your past favorites.


Guys, if you've ever experiences winexiety, do yourself a favor and try this app. It is everything you and your winexiety never knew you needed.





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